What is it about we Australians that make us amongst the highest divorcing nation on earth? The divorce rate is now 40 per cent. In Japan it is less than 15 per cent.
Without any particular order, the 10 most common reasons provided in response to a survey conducted by the Australian Institute of Family Studies as to why people separate and divorce, were as follows
1. Failure to communicate
This is more pronounced in men than women but nevertheless, one of the most common reasons. It seems so simple, yet for some it is so hard. If their parents did not communicate with them when they were young, they, in turn, find it hard to communicate with their partner.
2. Physical separation
Work pressure often causes partners to be kept apart, causing stress. The most obvious example would be the Fly In Fly Out (FIFO) phenomena which has become quite common over the last few years or people having to work 2 + jobs to make ends meet and thereby minimising time together.
3. Unemployment
Lack of income puts added pressure on relationships. For many the personal and social stigma of unemployment and the loss of face in being unable to contribute has a negative impact on relationships.
4. Loss of affection
It may simply be a matter of taking a relationship for granted. Again this is related to communication. Many women will cite this as the reason they initiated the separation, having told their husband or partner for a long time that the relationship has not been fulfilling their needs, while his constant reply is, “It’s all okay and she’ll get over it”.
5. Sex
Most couples fail to talk about and enliven their sex lives over the years. This goes hand in hand with communicating about a whole range of factors which are important to both of you, but which change over time. These need to be talked about, identified, understood and met, if possible.
6. Adultery
Mainly a male vice in the past, but definitely increasing among females.
7. Violence
This reason has no excuse and unfortunately for many women, it is often silent, unnoticed and very hard to break away from. Mainly, but not exclusively, women suffer this abuse.
8. Alcohol
Both men and women, one as much as the other, fall prey to this demon. It in turn creates problems with jobs, relationships and children. Whilst it can be reason in itself, it is often a consequence of other reasons such as depression arising from unemployment; respite from violence or an adulterous partner; or pressure from work.
9. Infertility/Wish for children
Problems in conceiving a child can create doubts in a partner’s mind and arguments arise when only one partner wishes to have a child. This is quite common in second relationships.
10. Parenting problems
Children can often activate feelings of jealousy. Once again this is quite common in second marriages for step-children to be the source of angst and conflict between parents.
